Stop Trying To Be Perfect

In our search to be accepted, to stand out from the crowd, and impress people we become obsessed with getting things ''perfect''.

Instead of making us better, it often leads to defeat.

Striving for excellence can definitely motivate you to grow and achieve more. However, perfectionism can also act like a bully who leaves you feeling defeated and drained constantly reminding you that nothing is good enough and that you have to prove your worth to feel successful.

Research suggests that anxiety over making mistakes may ultimately be holding some perfectionists back from ever achieving success.

Even as I write these words, there’s a little voice in the back of my mind overseeing every letter flowing onto the screen to make sure I'm adding value, resonating, and most of all, limiting the possibility of getting criticized. Unfortunately, this is what stops us from being authentic and sharing our brilliance with the world. The fear of not being accepted or ''not enough'' often outweighs the sense of fulfillment received from contribution.

Perfectionists have an all-or-nothing mindset. Do you always question whether or not what you do is good enough? Do you worry about making mistakes and being rejected by others if it isn't the best? If so, perfectionism may be the culprit. Elliot Cohen says,

“You can't have perfection in an imperfect world…when someone demands perfection, either with themselves or with others, they create frustration for all involved.” When we are able to accept our imperfections and fully embrace who we are, our lives become more inspiring and joyous. In the words of Abby Covert, “Perfection isn't possible, but progress is.”

How many times have you found yourself in a meeting, with family, a group of friends or across from an attractive stranger where you wanted to say something, but didn’t, because fear held you back? Your mind started spinning a million miles a minute thinking about everything that could go wrong instead of being present in the moment and taking a chance on living that moment.

Why couldn’t we just say what we’re thinking instead of trying to look smart, fit in or say what we think people want to hear?

If you get into an elevator and that attractive stranger gets on after you, what happens? An awkward silence spent thinking of what to say while staring at the numbers change until one of you gets to their destination? Or do you say something like; there sure is weather outside, and they're like; yes, and there was weather yesterday too! What would happen if you looked at the person and said, I'm trying to think of something to say to you? How attractive would it be if a person was vulnerable enough to say, I'm trying to think of the right thing to say to you? It creates a possibility to co-create with you and begin from a place of authenticity. But most people don't say that. Instead, we say what we think the person wants to hear.

Imagine how different your life could be tomorrow or a year from now if you choose to let go of perfectionism. Where could you be, who would you meet, what would you accomplish?

Speak your truth, say what you're thinking, share your brilliance, and step into a new world overflowing with possibilities.

Jason Gagnon